Khwaab
" Zehen me kuch khwaahishein lie
thaame tera haath,
ummedon ko sath lie
bunne laga ek khwaab,
na pata tha kaha milegi manzil mujhe
ya shyd hi pure honge ye khwaab,
lamhe the mile fir kuch haseen se
anokha tha safar or anokha tera saath. "
We both used to work at our individual workplace. It was hectic and tiring. But, we always made a time out after the office. I started picking her up from her office, dropping at her house. Meanwhile, discussing everything we went out throughout the day. She used to call me and talk randomly like rubbish but anything until I reach home. Then chats and phone calls for few time at night. We started discussing every small things. It came into as a daily routine. I again started behaving like before. I was addicted of her presence. I was habitual of her. I knew, I was going onto the wrong direction, the same path that I never wanted to go. I promised myself that I would never be like this after broking up with Myra but all this was irresistible to me.
It happens when you go through some bad things and it again starts the same way, even you don't want but you can't stop those changes in you. I always tried to disclose all with her but she seemed never interested in my past. She used to say that everyone carries their past and some mistakes with them. It's not in our hands every time that we can control. Sometimes, the things are made to just happen. You need to accept and go with the flow. I just wanted to get open to her so that she would not judge me in future. But, may be that wasn't the time for my past discussion.
Mere zehen me bas itna hi tha ki kahi pichli galtiyon se log mujhe judge kar k mujhe aaj na chor dein. On the weekends, unlike others we chose to stay with just each other alone fulfilling the wishes. And also the long list we made together to complete. We both had quiet good similarities. So, this time, it was my turn and I decided to go for a camping high on the hill at night under the open sky, full of stars, full moon night, bright in the sky with low air. I picked her on my bike and headed to tick one of the option of the list.
I stay with my collegemate in Pune. We both share a good bond like brothers. He asks me daily that if I'm trying to fool myself or really moving on from Myra's story. Today also for his question, I was speechless. This was the reason that I chose to go out for camping. I wanted to clarify the things that I committed in past and will see whatever happens. I just smiles whenever Rohit asks me. It was the time to get clarification not for anyone else but me and Ananya. We reached at destination, waited for a while, looking that sunset view and complete city from the top. I was holding her hand, she seemed to be happy, smiling purely like a little child. She was happy and I was happy with her.
As it was my place, my option, so I did the setup for tent, lamping. She helped me with cooking. We had dinner, little gupshup, then I asked her to close eyes. As always, her pupils got enlarged, with some suspicion, staring at me, I requested her - Just do it for a min. She insisted, tell me first but I denied. Making out faces, she closed her eyes. I brought up some lanterns, I knew it was going to be amazing from the top of the city, lanterns in the sky under full moon night and stars. I asked her to see what I brought. She was amazed after looking at those lanterns. Hurrying, she asked me to lit those. It really looked amazing.
Me : Me n Myra used to come on every full moon night. It feels like I am carrying a huge burden of the things that I committed in my last relationship. Her expressions were changed.
She again tried to stop me but I insisted, let me speak please. It was Myra's favourite place. Myra is no more into my life but I just feel guilty for what I did and I cannot continue with you holding my past back. I want to start with you and share my memories, happy moments but I can't make it. I get those reflections. I just want to flush out my previous life and start a new chapter.
Ananya : I am with you for what you are. I don't need to know what you were earlier but if this makes you happy, I am listening. If I could help out, I will be more happier than you.
We were in same college, even same class but never spoke to each other. I hardly attended any lecture and I was the student having my name for most of the times in debarred list. Throughout my 8 semesters, it happened once that I had attendance more than 75%. I was allowed to appear for internals normally without any approval from dean or HOD. It started from the first year, when me and some of collegemates planned a trip at the sunset point for a night camping. Most of the time, I used to spend my time at gumtis near college gate. Or any other place, so I hardly noticed any girl in my class. One day, we just planned it all random and invited in the whatsapp group of our class to whoever is interested can come. Myra was complete padhaku, first bencher, chashmish girl. Always into the books. Time and pickup spot was set. Some came in couple on their bike, some with their friends and she came with her two friends. Her friends were asked to ride by PP and CK. I saw her standing there looking for her friends, so I asked her to come up with me. They went, PP and CK asked them to ride. Are you comfortable, its not a long distance. We just need to go on the top of hill at sunset point. We need to reach before evening else we will miss out the view. She said, she has already been here. It's her favourite place. I was little surprised ki ye padhaku, chashmish si ladki yaha aa chuki hai. Like it was a couple type place. I asked her to hold the bike. I tried not to pull brake tightly, she might get uncomfortable. We reached at the top in sometime.
We all enjoyed the view, the evening. There was a bonfire, all were playing dumb charades. It was Myra's turn, she got the name of a movie for 4 words. Bollywood movie. Under the light of moons and stars, the light of that fire, she looked amazing, just amazing. I just kept staring at her, she was beautiful. She was trying, others were guessing I was happy to look at her. In all this, I said "Hum Aapke Hain Koun" loudly. She said correct, right answer. And everyone laughed. She sat beside me and I said with a very low noise, "A friend". She just smiled. We enjoyed that night. Everyone had a lot of fun. All were tired so I asked out Myra, baitho na, thodi der me so jana. She sat there and I asked,
Me : You had already been here, right?
Myra : Yes. It's a soothing place for me. I feel life and alive here. Away from the city, no noise cool air, these twinkling stars. Lay down and see, it looks amazing. You never see this now. I miss all this now.
Me : You don't seem to be like that. I thought you only love your books.
Myra : Jaruri nahi har padhaku boring hi ho, hai na? Everyone has two faces. One which is seen by the outside world, the other is seen by only you or your closed ones. By the way, why don't you attend college? short attendance will affect your marks.
Me : Wo kuch na kuch kaam rehta hai.. to miss ho jati hai attendance.
Myra : Waise kiska idea tha yaha aane ka?
Me : I heard from somewhere, so we randomly planned for this place. This is really nice.
Myra : How did you guess the movie..?
Me : I am a movie maniac. 😂
Myra : What else you prefer to do? Apart from buncking.
Me : Travel, solely to places like this. The more I group with people in college, the lonely I want to travel. That's how I love to live.
Myra : Why so? How long will you be travelling like this? Someday, someone you need, then what, will you leave her behind?
Me : Not like that, but it's my perspective, might be possible that she doesn't like to travel. It's better to fulfill your dreams before responsibilities gather around you and bow you down, this way you don't have to regret for anything.
Myra : Oh! nice. Wanderer you are. We should sleep now. It's late.
Me : I hold her hand and let her sit down. Baith na! Kal ghar ja k so lena. Konsa daily daily aate hain.
Myra : Are late hogya hai. Friends wait kar rahi hongi.
Me : Bol dena mera saath thi. Waise bhi kalse unhi k sath rehna hai. Baith ja. Accha lagg raha hai yaha.
Myra : Okay lekin bass thodi der.
Me : Ha okay. 😊
Myra : Let's see those stars.
It was like two skies, one at up and the other one down the hill. Just the tinkling lights. Amazing view.
We were trying to find constellation in the sky. Wo dekh saptrishi, and pole star pointing at the North. We spent some good time that night. I never talked some girl before that much. Monday, I went earlier to the college. Though, I was little late but the professor let me in. Attendance marked, and after a while lecture was over. I went to her, and she said, how did you come for the first lecture sir😂. Isn't that miracle.
Me : You are taunting me.😕 Bas aise aa gaya.
Myra : Areeee nahi! I was kidding. Good morning she greeted.
Me : Good morning. 😉 And I left.
In the evening I got her request on insta. Accepted and followed back. In a minute, got approved, I must tell you the chomu she looked in college, the beautiful she is in normal. Her insta pictures were amazing. Her thoughts, we had a lot of similarities. We continued to chat. I used to send her jokes and memes. She had little greenish eyes under those round spectacles. I said you look beautiful but why not in college..😂 Your green eyes are 😍
Myra : I am always same. How come you are noticing a girl, solely wanderer😂. And the chat continued this way for days.
I started attending the lectures, labs,performing practicals. I stopped going to gumtis, cafeteria we used to go in free time. We both never confessed though the people knew we were together. For us, we were close but not in a confessed relationship. Twice in a week, we come at this place. Blew lanterns, spend some time together. It was all going well but the twist came when we were in our final year. She was good in studies, got a placement with whopping salary in the first drive. I was unplaced that time. I didn't have any job. For half of the drives, I wasn't allowed to attend any. And then, it was happened...!
Beginning of the story : Ek Mulaqat
Find more stories : StoryHub
Comments